Deepest Part of Me
by MottoVeilopVIII
Summary: This is my closure for Ed&Winry's relationship. Ed's been struggling with a homesickness Al hasn't even been able to help cure. And one mistake after another takes Ed down a solem rode of guilt, til he finds himself dreaming again for something he just wa


**Author's note:** hello, just i few quick words. This story takes place after the movie. So if you haven't finished the series or watched the movie, you _can _read it. I'm not going to run to your house and stick a gun to your head and yell, 'ARE YOU _CRAZY_!' I mean i _could_, but thats besides the point. I just wanted to stick that as a warning so i don't get yelled at for not warning you that there are spoilers sort of...I mean, more then anything you'll just get confused. Then you'll feel like my editors when they read my crazier pieces.

This story i orginally wasn't going to post. I came up with the idea, played with it for a while and then after explaining the main idea of it to a friend of mine, they convinced me i had to write it. So i wrote it out read over it, gave it to my friend and later that day they came crying to me telling me it was wonderfull. I'm not going to say its _that_ good, but after that i was talked into sharing it with you guys so everyone could enjoy it. And i _really_ hope you do.

It goes right along with the end of the movie for the most part, i seriously watched the movie right after i wrote it and thought, _'oh shit'_ it works! Oh and please, this is an Edward&Winry fanfic, if you for some reason in your own opinion you don't like them as a couple, then do yourself a favor and don't read this. Also i have alot of Ed and Al scenes in here, and for thoses of you who know me, you know why. I like to write about Al _alot_.

Well, I'll let you read now. please read with an open mind and above all these characters images i wanted everyone to have a part of. more then anything i wrote this for Ed and Winry because they never got to have that scene. But now i want to share it with you, thank you.

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Alphonse just couldn't quite seem to understand how his brother could blame himself for something that he couldn't possibly have known was going to happen. But Edward blamed himself nevertheless for letting himself get the slightest case of homesickness and therefore putting his guard down for the unexpected. Al argued it till Ed won saying if he hadn't broken a piece off his auto-mail then he wouldn't have mentioned her in the first place. It ended there because they knew that Ed was right.

All he'd said was something around the lines of, 'Winry will kill me next time I see her,' and then came the awkward silence because both boys knew very well there was never going to be a next time. They'd given up that life in order to protect the ones still there and to stay together no matter what.

But Ed didn't talk to Al the rest of the morning mainly because he'd screwed up and admitted out loud that he missed her in front of the one person who he shouldn't have. They were together. What the hell else mattered?

Concealing himself in his own thoughts of her for so long however, it was no wonder that later that day when the two were walking through town, Ed froze as the blonde haired girl rushed right by him. Al had turned to his brother and asked what was wrong but Ed had simply stood there trying to convince himself not to turn around.

Perhaps if Ed had asked himself to consider the circumstances he wouldn't have turned and run after her. Then maybe he wouldn't have seen her face and broken down the way he had asking if he could get her lunch. Maybe then he wouldn't have stopped to talk to her everyday and then possibly he wouldn't have ever been in the position of her caring about him.

She wasn't the girl he wanted anyway, and guilt sunk in further every day of how unfair he was being. Al wasn't much of a help either commenting that if Ed liked her he couldn't see what the problem was. In fact Al just encouraged his brother, since as Al put it Ed never had a chance to have a relationship since they had been busy in their younger years. Ed simply blushed and hid behind a newspaper commenting he just didn't have time for a relationship anyway.

It wasn't until the night Edward stomped in their small home late one night, with his head down and his staggered lifeless walk down the hall that Al knew this was becoming just another one of his burdens. He didn't want his brother to feel that way anymore and if it was anywhere in his power to do something about it, he would.

Alphonse walked down the hall and stepped in the open doorframe to Ed's room. He hadn't bothered to turn a light on and Ed was lying on his stomach slumped over his bed like he'd just lived the worst day of his life. Familiar with his brother's action of lying there pretending to not notice him, Al quietly walked in and sat beside him. He simply waited like he always would patiently till Ed was ready to talk to him.

"I'm not going to see her anymore Alphonse, I can't."

Al nodded quietly and hesitated in getting involved in an argument with his stubborn brother over the silly reason Ed didn't think he could stay with her. It was honestly more irritating then Al had thought it would be. That fact that his brother wasn't doing what he and everyone else wanted him to do, which was simply be happy and take what he was given by the hand. But that was just his brother, pushing all the good he was given to the side not seeing all the possibilities. Al wasn't just going sit there.

"Just tell me why not Ed? You like her; I've seen you talk to her…"

Ed was quiet again and Al waited again. He breathed out a heavy sigh and Al watched as he dropped his left arm over the side of his bed and rolled his face further into the pillow talking in a muffled sound, "It's not her…"

Al groaned hearing that stupid excuse again. His brother was a broken track saying the same line every time. Al would have rather had Ed say something about just wanting to spend more time with him. But _no_, he says it's because she's not the _other_ Winry.

"Gees Ed, I know that."

"Then why are you asking?" Ed grumbled rolling on his side away from his brother.

Al rolled his eyes. It was going to take more then that it seemed to get his older brother to listen to him. At this point he'd just shrug off anything said to him and never look back.

"Don't you think you deserve this Ed? A chance to live a normal life with someone you care about?"

"I got you don't I?"

Al smiled turning around toward his brother. He wouldn't let Ed get away with saying stuff like that just to throw him off. While it was all true, Ed was only trying to change the subject getting Al to leave him be, like he eventually always would. Well he was determined not to leave this time.

"Yeah, for the rest of your life too. But Ed, you know what I mean."

Ed sat up suddenly and turned in the direction of his little brother, his eyes angry and his eyebrows angled. Al was expecting him to yell at him but he couldn't help but flinch at his brother's angry gaze cutting into his own eyes.

"Let's get something straight Al! I don't deserve anything, I did what I had to and I'd do it again. But I don't deserve her…especially when I couldn't even hold her back…or even freakin say goodbye to her. _She_ deserves someone, not me."

Ed dropped his eyes onto the floor and the slight pinch of fear Al had vanished in about five seconds and was replaced with a light frustration. Al stood up so fast Ed jumped back and when he looked up at his brother's angry face he felt an uncomfortable fear curl around his stomach. Al tightened his fist and rocked it right up in Ed's face.

"So your going to just get up and walk off huh! Let me tell you something brother, maybe you're right and you don't deserve her but by walking away now your just hurting her all over again!"

Al turned around and stomped toward the door. Ed was about ready to yell back at him when he stopped and let his brother clomp off and slam the door to his own room down the hall. Some how he knew Al was right, he almost always was. But Ed knew he still couldn't face her again. Besides he'd already told her goodbye.

The next morning Al made breakfast for Ed and said he was sorry for yelling but meant what he said. Ed only smiled and tossing an arm around his brother's neck resulted in a fight in which was never quite finished because Ed realized he would be late for work. Weeks went by and the topic was never mentioned again, by either one of the boys. Both worked hard, both came home at the end of the day and sat in each other's company laughing of the past and present. Neither really liked talking about the future since in there lives the future was constantly changing without them and there only option was to live each day as they could.

As long as it never came up in conversation Ed was fine with leaving his memory's of Winry in the past where they belonged. _Both_ of them. It was just another one of those images that rushed by while you're on a train and you can look back all you want but you'll never be able be grasp it the way you could have the first time around. He had to sit back down and stop looking back at things he could have had.

Al was finishing up some work and told Ed to go on home and start dinner. And that's all that would have happened if Ed wasn't so impatience to get around the crowd blocking the street. But Ed _was very_ impatience and one quick glance down the back alley was all it took for him to change his route home.

Of course that was when he caught sight of her again, standing with her back pushed up to a fence and her angry blue eyes on the guys in front of her. Ed noted the situation and thought it best to get involved, considering the odds were one to eight.

One of the guys had just stepped foreword and slapped her across the cheek when Ed cleared his throat making it known that he was there. All faces turned to him and Winry's face brightened right away, "Edward!"

Ed smirked and rubbed the side of this nose, "Last time I heard it wasn't polite to hit girls." The biggest of all the morons laughed, and slowly the rest began to as well. Ed couldn't help of groan with the sear instinct that he knew what was coming.

"Look this little pipsqueak acting lik-" Ed's fist was in the guy's face far before he could hear more. He collapsed on the ground and there was a light gasp followed by a small silence. Ed turned to the others the small vein pulsing on his head and the crazed gleam in his eyes, "Who else wants some of this!"

A guy came running from behind him and Ed jumped up to the side swinging his right arm down into his back. Honestly Ed hadn't been in a real fight for some time and for good reason. He had been trying to take good care of that auto-mail Winry had last given him, taking into consideration he wouldn't have known where to start if he had to fix it.

Everything probably would have run smoothly if the one guy hadn't pulled out the crowbar and hacked it into the side of Ed's left leg. The shock was more of what had him pause, at the sudden numbness, but with a quick swing of his other leg Ed had the guy on the ground with a bloody face. He smirked causally and then stepped foreword to hit the next guy.

Then he's eyes went wide as the one side of his leg that had gotten the blow caved in. Gravity did its job on the mark and without balance the inner stable side that hadn't received the blow went straight up into his thigh. Blood gushed out breaking through skin making room quickly for the sudden jam of metal into flesh. He froze and let out a scream not knowing whether to fall on his face or start crying.

Ed ended up doing neither of course because he couldn't fall foreword if he had wanted too and crying was ridiculous. The guy he'd been ready to charge at, sneered and picked up a knife one of the other dimwits had dropped after being smacked in the face. Ed was about to throw his body into the guy when he caught sight of Winry picking up the crowbar that was lying on the ground. All he could do was smile as in one quick swing she whacked the guy across the head and Ed whistled as he fell to the ground.

To say the least the last guy started to run for it and Ed supposed the others were smart enough to at least get the message and quickly followed after him. He stumbled a bit striving to balance his uneven legs. Feeling had long left his left leg and honestly he couldn't tell the difference between what standing with one leg would have been like.

He raised his hand from his thigh and felt it tremble as he forced himself to stand straighter. His vision began to get a little hazy as he smiled in their direction, "That's right run ya' idiots! That's what you get for messing with whoa…"

Ed lowered his head suddenly feeling a powerful rush of light headedness. He glanced back up at Winry who dropped the crowbar and ran towards him, as tears began forming in her eyes. He smiled, "Don't worry about me Winry, I just gotta get home or my brother will…worry…"

Ed didn't remember much after that. Dazed memory's came to him when he woke up, of Winry pulling his left arm around her neck and helping him limp to a medical hospital.

Thinking about it he remembered her telling him before she worked in a hospital with her parents. Honestly that hadn't surprised him in the least and he smiled almost blurting out that that sounded like something she'd do to torture people and listen to them scream, but quickly reminded himself not to.

When his vision came back around to him, he glanced around the small room and groaned, "Al's going to kill me."

"Yeah, I tried to convince my parents to let me go get him but…" Ed looked toward the door to see Winry coming in the room and gently shutting the door behind her. He watched her quietly a moment thinking of how much he'd wanted to accidentally run into her again the last several weeks. Her hair was the same color, but much longer and pulled back into two braids. Her eyes, voice, attitude, and even her dumb obsession with having to know everything was exactly the same.

"How long have I been unconscious?" She glanced up at the small clock hanging on the wall behind him and then back to what she'd been playing with. Ed tilted his head at an angle and realized it was his leg.

"Hmm… an hour maybe, once I figure out how to fix this thing for you and put it back on, you'll be able to _slowly_ walk home. And I mean slowly, cause your leg's very sore from this thing being lodged into up your thigh." She turned around throwing him a smile and Ed wondered if inside he really cared if he made it home that night, aside from seeing Al yell at him for almost killing himself.

"Did you say '_figure out_' how to fix that?" She turned back around and nodded sadly. Ed frowned remembering why he'd left in the first place. This wasn't Winry.

"I'm sorry Edward, I've worked with some prosthetics before but I've never seen any this complex. It was definitely crafted by a genius." He couldn't help but laugh hearing her say that. It was too weird having even _this _Winry amazed by that junk.

She glanced back at him rolling her eyes, "Don't tell me you made this?"

Ed shook his head and smiled, "Sorry, I'm not really sure how that works myself, but bring it over here maybe I can figure it out."

She paused for a moment and looked down at the ground not moving. Ed blinked trying to figure out if he'd said something wrong, "Winry? You okay?"

When she didn't look up Ed sighed and pushed himself up with his arms, then twisted around and threw the pillows back sitting up against them. He then sighed and glanced back at her gently asking again, "Winry, are you okay? Cause I can't do anything for you if I don't know what's wrong."

"Why did you…help me? I thought you said we shouldn't talk anymore." She turned her back to him picking up the leg. Ed was quiet as she turned back around and held out the leg. Slowly he took a deep breath and reached up pass the leg and grabbed hold of her wrist. He gently tugged her arm, willing her to lean over him until her cheek ran pass his and his lips were close to her ear, "I'd never stand by and let someone hurt you."

He released her wrist and took the leg from her hands, waiting for her to stand up straight again. She leaned back and stopped looking at his face a moment. Ed froze straightening his back as her eyes lowered from his eyes and he knew what she was thinking. His mind was racing as her eyes went back to his and she slowly leaned foreword. He couldn't turn away or he'd shatter her into a million pieces, making her feel like an idiot. And so he did the first thing he could think to do and lean right pass her lips and kiss her cheek.

When he leaned back, he smiled at her pink face knowing it had worked, "Help me with this thing kay? I'll never figure it out on my own."

Surprisingly enough, the damage wasn't as bad as he'd predicted and with a lot of thought and the collection of random metals Winry had found, they fixed it enough for Ed to be satisfied with the satiability. With more thought and lots of morphine, Ed's leg was connected to him again in a couple hours. Of course by then he was way too drugged and in pain to even contemplate much of anything, so Winry insisted that he didn't move quite yet. Ed argued for a little bit but soon this body's energy ran out and he closed his eyes asleep.

When he did wake up again, he sat up straight in bed and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh, shit."

Ed jumped up from bed and grabbed his pants hanging over the back of a chair. It was bad enough Al was going to be upset about his leg, but now coming home this late. He knew he'd be on his knees asking for forgiveness.

Just as he'd just pulled on his second shoe, the door creaked open and Winry poked her head around the corner, "Oh, um…I was coming to get you up."

Ed's eyes gave away his emotion before his smile did, "Oh, hey. I'll come by with payment for my bill tomorrow. That okay?"

She shook her head and knelt down in front of him. Ed sat up straight quickly making sure there was a good distance between them, but doing so was harder then he imagined it would have been. Her hand came up and gently entwined itself in his. Her left in his right, and yet she smiled as if it held the same warmth as any humans. But that was how Winry was, making him feel like a complete person… literally.

"I'm walking you home to make sure you don't run." She stood up swiftly and her hand still in his pulled him to his feet.

It was almost too weird; walking down the dark streets with her hand tightly wound through his. Not that before now he'd ever even thought about holding the obnoxious girl's hand and walking down a street in the middle of the freakin night. But for some reason, though it held no meaning to him, when ever she'd turn back to him with that smile and those bright blue eyes it all felt worth it.

Getting to a corner Ed continued walking straight while Winry began to turn. She stopped for a moment but Ed didn't release her hand making her forced to follow or she'd fall on her face, "Where are you going?"

Ed smiled, "I can't let you walk back home alone. Not after what happened earlier. I'll take you home, then go home myself kay?"

Winry sighed and Edward grinned knowing the sound of defeat. After all with as many fights as the two had had over the years he knew all to well he could win. If he stood his ground long enough, she didn't have a wrench or a power drill, and his auto-mail wasn't busted; then he would win.

He recognized the house from the several other times he'd brought her home. It'd been awhile but the same lamp burned dimly over the dark street and Ed wished every time he walked by he could clap his hands and fix it for her.

Edward turned around facing her and smiled, "Well brought you home, safe and sound."

She walked closer to him taking his other hand in her other hand. Ed froze; an immediate reaction he'd been getting lately from her touches. Her eyes went to his and he knew what was coming. She would ask to see him again, and he would say no. There was nothing else to say. They'd met again today unintentionally.

"Edward…what's wrong with me?" He raised an eyebrow and deep inside took more than a few paces backwards. _Wrong _with her? Where in the hell did _that_ come from?

Ed gently squeezed his real hand around hers, "Nothing's wrong with you…"

"Then why don't you like me?" She might as well have pulled out that wrench and beat him senseless with it. It would have more or less, hurt less then telling her that she was just the stand in for the real girl he was thinking of.

He put a hand behind his head and thought about what to say. But before he could think of something he felt her head fall foreword onto his chest. He heard her sniff before the leaking tears soaked enough in to his shirt. Before he could think, his body reacted and his arms came around her.

Winry tugged onto his jacket bunching it up in her fists, "So tell me Edward, what's wrong with me!" Ed pulled her closer as she buried her face into his shoulder.

Of course reflecting on most moments in his life, Ed came to the honest decisions that he no idea as to what the hell he was thinking. After moments such as this, Ed later came to the further conclusion that he'd learned nothing from making this assumption.

He grabbed her face in his hands and pulled her in. Her first reaction came as to try and push him away but when she couldn't fight him off she gave in. She pulled her arms under his coat around his lower back. Once she got the picture that she wasn't going anywhere, he grabbed onto her back pulling her as close as he could without killing her.

Whatever it was that brought Ed back to his senses, came and went so quickly he was standing there continuing to kiss her long after he knew he was. It was only when she breathed out his name quietly, that he jumped five feet away from her.

"Oh, shit." There was a silence after that and Ed didn't know weather to give permission for her to kill him then or beg and ask if he could see his brother one last time. Who would have ever guessed that the first time he got to make-out, he'd get killed by her?

"It's another girl, isn't it?" Ed's eyes went to hers and she nodded lowering her head. He debated weather to kiss her again and stop her talking or tell her he'd buy her the gun if he could go explain things to this brother first.

"It's alright…I think I knew... I guess I just hoped that some small part of you…" Ed felt his heart drop into his stomach as she looked back up into his eyes with tears rolling down her pink cheeks and a her fake smile trembling, trying not to fall through. When she turned away and ran inside it took every mental point of control to not call after her. Why did his control work _now_!

Ed mostly angry with himself, trudged home knowing he deserved to be beaten up by Al or much worst by now. The lights weren't on when Ed came in and he narrowed his eyes glancing from room to room. Alphonse couldn't possibly have just gone to sleep not having any fraction of an idea where his brother was… could he?

He glanced into his brother's dark room and getting a sick feeling ran to his room and saw that it was empty as well. Where was he?

Ed's question was quickly answered when a figure jumped out from behind him smacking his face flat on the floor. Al laughed refusing to move from his position, in which was sitting on his brother's spine.

"I don't know Al, you might have broken something," Ed grumbled as his brother continued to laugh and didn't bother to move.

"You'll live. Where have you been mister?" Ed rolled his eyes refusing to answer with his brother sitting on him as a way of questioning. He tapped the floor impatiently waiting for Al to get up but Al only crossed his arms in defiance.

Ed groaned, "Fine! I bumped into Winry, she was in trouble, I saved her, my leg got messed up, we fixed it, and I walked her home, ok!" Ed turned away, wanting to burry himself in the lowest pit of his own shame. Why did everything always happen to him? Al stood up and held out a hand for his brother. Ed grumbled but accepted the offer.

Al smiled, "So, you realize you can't live without her?" His brother rolled his eyes still grumbling and continued his trudge to his room. Al smacked his forehead as Ed threw his jacket in the floor and flopped on his bead again slamming his face deep in his pillow. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed a long time before he heard Ed mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Sorry Ed, I don't speak pillow burble."

Ed raised his head smiling, "I thought you knew everything."

Al took a deep breath shrugging off his brother's attempt to start a fight. If Ed was so lacking in common sense that he wasn't aware of his own feelings then Al would have to be blunt with him. It was beyond him how Ed survived as long as he had without him.

"You might have gone to her in the first place because of your wanting to see Winry. But Ed even knowing all of that you still are so caught off guard around her. We're all different people and despite the reason you were drawn to her, she is her own person to you now. She's a person whom you do care for in a _different_ way then _our own_ Winry. Remember…it's just like the Alphonse here."

Ed rolled his head to the side, his cheeks puffy and red from breathing into the pillow. That was true. He'd cared for that Alphonse differently then his real brother and for diverse reasons. They were two similar people to him, but with two different lives, and different souls. And he cared for both, but this wasn't caring for his brothers this was…

"Just let me sleep Alphonse…"

Al was about to argue but took a deep sigh. Instead of yelling the way he partially felt like he leaned in the room and took the door handle. His gaze held on his brother's back before leaving and whispered quietly, "This is _our_ home now brother; that's your line remember."

It was like one of those dreams. The ones where you fall asleep and dream out the next 10 years of your life, but then when you're going through hell you wake up screaming with your mom at your bedside holding your hand.

It was only kinda like that except for two problems. The first was Ed hadn't dreamed out his life, it was real; therefore he couldn't wake up from it. The second was 10 years ago he would have been 9, and his mother died before he turned 9. If Ed had been having a nightmare when he was 9 the only person who'd be there to hear his screams and run up by his side when he awake would be his little 8 year old brother, Alphonse.

Despite all the logic however, when Ed sat up rubbing his eyes in his bedroom those were the first things he thought of. Considering when his vision became less blurred he realized quickly he wasn't seeing things, he was sitting in his old bedroom. The bedroom he'd shared with Al when they were little, the one they'd lived in with their father, for the short while they did, and their mother.

Ed pulled back the covers knowing that this must have been the dream, but why here? Why not the beach or something? Then he looked over the bedside and knew his legs stood have touched the ground. He jumped off his bed and ran over to a large wooden mirror, standing on its legs in the corner of the small room where it always had.

He looked into the mirror to see a short, chubby, big golden eyed, kid standing where he should have been. It was a representation of how he saw himself when he was younger. His eyes went past his reflection in the mirror to the door, except the door to his room hadn't been in that corner.

Ed put his hand on the handle and twisted slowly. He looked out into the hall and took a step back. It wasn't the hallway to that should have been there, but he couldn't quite seem to place where he'd seen it before. He did a side step into the hall and sighed immediately blinking afterward. Whatever age he was, his voice shouldn't have been that deep. He glanced down and was standing in his brown pants again, with his mud red jacket falling nicely behind him.

That evidence was clear to him now he was dreaming. It was the only way he could explain walking through a doorway and being himself again. Then he heard something, a small soft noise almost like laughing echoing from down the hall. He walked down the hall slowly till he got to a door where the sound seemed to be penetrating from. Pressing his ear to the door, Ed realized it was someone crying not laughing.

Ed opened the door a crack and saw the silhouette of a girl, sitting on the floor curled up with her back to the bed and her head resting between her knees. He opened the door as quietly as he could but when the hinges squeezed he heard her gasp and quickly she ducked underneath the bed, "No wait. I'm not going to hurt you."

He saw her freeze, "Edward?" Ed paused a moment and then slowly walked toward the bed and knelt on the floor. Underneath he saw what he knew only could be the small blonde haired girl he'd grown up with. It made since he supposed. He had been thinking about her before he fell asleep, and dreams were the connection to the subconscious mind.

Her face brightened and she began crawling out. Ed sat back and waited till she was out and sitting up on the floor in front of him. It was only a little weird, more or less, less then he thought it would have been. The girl he'd wanted to see the last several months was in front of him… in her seven year old body. A person really changes in twelve years.

Winry was rubbing tears away from her face still but she was only making her face red and puffy. Ed sighed and put a hand on the back of his head, "Stop crying please."

She jumped up pretty fast for a little girl and started yelling, "Shut-up! Why do I have to be little? Is this punishment for making fun of you so much?" She burst into tears again and fell back onto her knees.

For a moment, Ed wondered if this was more then an illusion of how his subconsciousness viewed Winry, but maybe a view of the _real_ Winry. If this was a dream then the girl would have merely been an image stored in his memory and now resurfacing in a hallucination he'd created simply from his conscious wanting to see her.

Ed smacked his face with both hands. There was only one way to find out. If she left the room the way he had she probably would change. "Winry you're acting like a baby. Just walk out of the room."

The girl glanced toward the door and then back to Ed. She looked scared. _Real_ scared. Like back when she _really_ was little and actually _got_ scared. Ed groaned and stood up dusting off his pants. He had no idea why he was brought there, but if he could see Winry he wasn't going to sit on the floor.

He knelt on the floor in front of her, "Come on. I'll protect you." She looked to his eyes, to his hands and then back to his eyes. Slowly she walked into his arms and Ed picked her up, laying her across his arms so he wouldn't fall over when he walked through the door and there'd be a sudden change of balance.

He walked over to the door and felt her lean her face into him as he stepped through. What the hell had her so scared anyway? Ed stepped out and then realized why she was afraid. They weren't in her house or his old one, or nay house she might have recognized for that matter. But he did. They were in the hallway of his house in_ his_ world.

Ed glanced down and like he'd predicted she was her again, although she hadn't noticed and had her face buried in his shoulder with her gripping for dear life to his jacket. So it was her. It wasn't impossible, he'd read before about scientific studies on the human mind and how some people before had actually talked with others in there dreams, both fully conscious and aware of one another. Even Alphonse had told Ed about seeing him in his dreams when he was across the gateway.

A smiled came to his face, "Hey." She looked up at him a moment and then looked down at herself. Her eyes went everywhere at once and she put her face back on his chest still confused.

"It's okay, were just dreaming." He rested his cheek on her head and closed his eyes. Even if she was just a lost photograph hidden somewhere deep in his mind, she _felt_ real enough.

"Then how are you here." He heard the crack in her voice and gently set her down in front of him. She didn't let go of him and he really didn't want her to. He put his arms around her and she shook her head.

"You've got to be a dream…but then again I used to think that when you were real." She looked back at him smiling wiping her face with the back of her hand.

Despite everything Ed ever learned, he wanted to keep pretending to be an idiot. Idiot's got to do what they wanted to do. Idiot's got to kiss their girl's in their dreams even though it'd probably be the last time. And idiot would have crushed her like that and left her again not knowing that tomorrow she'd be just another memory. But Ed had already made too many mistakes in his life to pretend he get away with being an idiot.

"I'm sorry…" Her eyes went up to his and he looked down not being able to face her. His hands gripped harder on her shoulders as he lowered his head till his chin was on his chest.

"Dammit…I'm sorry…" Ed felt his knees rocking and quickly buckled them to keep from collapsing. _Damn_ his stupid emotions. _Damn_ his stupid dreams. And _damn_ the logic that kept him from acting like an idiot.

Winry stepped foreword slowly and placed a hand behind his head. She pulled him toward her bringing his forehead to rest on her shoulder. Her eyes closed as she leaned her head against his and held him, "I always wanted to be the one to catch you. I always wanted to be the one who you'd call to come and save you. The one you'd always come home to. I guess it never accrued to me that one day you wouldn't come home."

"Dammit, I'm sorry Winry. I left to-"

"I know why you left. Do I sound mad to you?" Ed lifted his head and looked into her clear face. She was smiling. It was then that Ed realized something. Something he hadn't seen before, but now standing in front of her he could see ever so clearly.

He must have been starring at her because Winry titled her head off to the side, "What is it?"

"It's just…you both really are different."

Ed placed a hand on her cheek tucking her hair back behind her ear. Her hand meanwhile was playing with his jacket hem moving from button to button. It seemed almost as if the first time in his life it was just him and Winry. He'd always had something else to do; important matters of course that she understood more then anyone. But for the first time he could look at her and touch her without anything else on his mind.

"Who?" Ed frowned a moment and then sighed hoping she'd understand.

"There's another Winry on the other side, who looks just like you. I thought your personalities were so similar at the time though I'd sometimes forget you were different people. I think I was wrong though."

Winry smiled playfully, "You realized I was pretty then her."

Ed smirked and narrowed his eyes, "No, I realized she's not nearly as evil." He smiled as she tugged his jacket shaking him back and forth.

He leaned his forehead on hers though and closed his eyes thinking and taking it in a moment. Everything about both girls; what he knew and how he felt. But mostly what he had to do, so they could both wake up tomorrow being completely content.

"I do care about her; for being her. I know she's not you, and she'll never be you. But…I can't have you." He kept his eyes closed trying to make sure he sounded right, but she didn't push away from his arms so he continued, "It's not like I'm picking one from the other, but this is my world and home now and she's real while your…"

"…a dream." His eyes went to her smiling ones and he pulled her in, hugging her.

It was a soft echoing that seemed to come from all the walls that startled them. But Ed knew what it was only a moment after it happened. Winry buried her face back into him and Ed smiled down at her, "That's just one of us trying to wake up."

Her eyes went up to his and he pulled her in again pressing his cheek to hers, "I'm going to stop dreaming Winry; there are some things just too far out of reach. But I want you to know, and always remember, because I'll never forget…" A thrumming noise filled the small hall and Winry shook her head as tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes.

"Edward…" She began to sink to her knees and Ed didn't bother trying to make her stand but knelt down continuing to hold her for as long as he could.

"…and somewhere within the deepest part of me Winry, I'll always love you." Ed felt the room start to break around him but pulled her lips to his not caring how long it would last. It was for her. She had to know that he did. Even if she married, had tons of kids, became a famous rich mechanic, and grew as old as her grandmother she had to know that he did.

The dream broke and Ed's hazy room came into view. He was lying on his stomach, with his jacket thrown off onto the floor, and his door closed just like it had been the night before.

Alphonse was surprised to come down the hall of there little house and find Ed in the kitchen cooking. It wasn't as if Edward never cooked, he did a lot in fact and was even pretty good, but with everything that had happened last night it just seemed, odd.

Ed's bright grin was just a bit creepier as he spun around placing a steaming place of warm fluffy eggs on the table, "Stuff your face Al, I outdid myself."

Pulling back the chair, Al took a seat and glanced at his brother carefully while taking a bite. It _was_ great and Al's attention quickly left his brother and floated to the plate in front of him. It was hard to focus on a complex case like Edward Elric while eating so the mystery would have to wait till he finished.

Ed sat down across from his brother with a cup of coffee. He hadn't been able to sleep since he woke up. Not in the bad way, but the good way. The way you feel when you can't sleep because you're excited about your birthday the next day. Even though Ed barely ever remembered birthdays mostly his own.

Al glanced up from his plate and notice Ed watching him, "That's really creepy you know."

"What?" Al crossed his arms as Ed sipped his coffee.

"You were staring at me." Ed set the cup down and smiled leaning back off the floor in his chair. If Al thought this situation and weird he'd never be able to sleep at night if Ed told him what he'd done when Al had come to that world. Ed would have stayed awake some nights just so he could watch him sleep. He hadn't seen the kid's face in seven years; could he help it if he'd missed him?

Al stood up from his seat and began cleaning up the kitchen as Ed finished his cup, "What changed from last night?"

Ed stood up slowly and set the cup in his brother's hands. Al was quiet as Ed stretched his arms back and then shoved his hands in his pant pockets. He turned his head smiling at him, "I remember to be thankful for what I have and stop trying to get back what's lost." Al smiled, that little smile where his eyes gently lit that Ed had missed his little brother give him whenever he did or said something right.

"That's right, brother. To be content with what you're given." Ed nodded and turned from Al heading back to his room. Al sighed and shook his head washing out the cup in his hands.

When Al turned back around his brother had his coat on and was headed toward the door. There was a pause a moment and then Ed smiled waving a hand to Al, "You go now to work kay? I'll see you there."

"Where are you going?"

Ed took a step foreword and glanced over his shoulder grinning, "To walk my girl to work. I saw what happened yesterday when she's walks alone. See ya."

Winry didn't expect to see Ed standing outside at the bottom of her steps. She paused a moment at his warm smile her eyes dulled and with a hint of aggravation in them. But Ed had expected that and was prepared for any quick remark she might have.

"What, did you sleep out here?" Maybe not that kind of remark, while it was all true she had left him standing only a couple feet away from where he stood now. He sighed and lowered his head almost laughing as she slowly came down the steps.

"I wanted to walk you to the hospital, I owe for yesterday anyway." He smiled and caught her quick to frown at him.

"You don't owe me anything. Just go on with your life okay." She turned from him walking down the street and heard him sigh again.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Winry." She spun around glaring at him and he smiled knowing she had every right to be mad with as little as she knew.

"What about the other girl? Don't-"

"There was no other girl Winry, I just wanted there to be." She stopped and he walked over to her.

"You see, we weren't actually together and seeing it now I guess it really all was just a fantasy. The point is _your_ real and I didn't realize it then, but when you were talking last night you had tried to say that you had hoped that a part of me would have fallen for you. Well… it did."

She tried to keep frowning but her face broke and she started to cry. Her fists went to her eyes, and she took a step away from him.

Ed smiled and looked down, "I…I want to keep seeing you, because part of me needs you. I guess I'm the one hoping now…that somewhere in a part of you…I'm needed too." He looked up with enough time to get his hands out of his pockets before she ran into him pulling her arms around his back.

She looked up at him as he pulled her closer and putting his arms around her. They were different girls, and he stood have seen it the moment he saw her that day. But if he had, he might not have asked her out and he decided then that maybe his chanced happened mistakes were good sometimes. Even though Al would have said in the long run playing it smart was safer. As usually Al was probably right.

He leaned over her and gently kissed her cheek, "Would saying I'm sorry, get you to stop crying?" She laughed a little and smiled as he talked against her face.

"I just didn't think I'd ever hear you say that." Ed nudged her face again with his nose and she smiled. He never said anything heartfelt and junkie unless someone actually needed to hear it said. Seemly a lot of people had needed that lately and he was starting to talk too much.

So less talk more action was his goal now, and a smirk came across his face as he leaned back capturing her mouth before anymore could go on. Like last night, she stiffened as first and then gave in and Ed smiled with the likeness of having control. It made him feel better and he leaned back smirking still. He took her hand and turned down the street toward the hospital.

If Al had thought it was hard keeping his brother out of trouble before, now it was going to be a nightmare now.

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Well, that's the end. I'd love to hear what you thought of it so drop me a message, and thanks!


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